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June 2015

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A Week of Reconnecting

“Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.” - Rumi

I truly believe that life is cyclical. I don't know how it happens, but I never feel like goodbye is really goodbye in this world. With the advent of social media and increased connectivity over it, it's true that no one really leaves your life. Before, relationships would fade into the ether and once the person exited your life, they ceased to exist; I wouldn't see the person, so therefore they no longer existed to me.

But now, I have these amazing things that pop up on my Facebook that show me memories from my past. Over the last few weeks of me having enabled this feature (I'm behind, I know), I wake up with a notification from Facebook reminding me of what happened on that specific day, last year, two years and even three years prior. This has been both an amazing walk down memory lane and a heart-wrenchingly terrible exercise in regret and disappointment. I don't always regret lost relationships, and I try as much as I can to move on from it, but everyone has something, I'd like to think.

Either way, through the bad and sad, I've been able to find some joy. The last couple weeks I've had several instances where these memories have helped me reconnect with people from my past. With a few years distance from them, I feel better equipped to go back and revisit, to reconsider and to understand why things may have fallen apart. I also have summoned and found courage (which I may not have had before) to lay down my pride, and to reach out.

I always remind myself that if I remember and think about a person, or if lament over the loss of a person, it may be unresolved. I take the occurrences of the last few weeks as super positive and a sign that I'm growing (hopefully) through certain emotional quirks I had before. 

I wonder what the next few weeks have in store for me? 

Benjamin Buttons?

When I was a little girl, my favourite movie (just as it was for many other kids born in the late 80s) was The Neverending Story. So much so, that I went and read the book. Over and over and over again. The movie and the book really resounded with me and as the internet says it was one of those movies that kinda screwed up a whole generation - but it was more than that, it was a world of wonder, discovery and depth. One of the places that the main character Bastian visits in the book (that was left out of the movie) was a city where the people actually age backwards. I saw this quote by Woody Allen the other day and it immediately took me back to the book - and maybe even inspired me to pick it up and re-read it again (after I finally finish that tome of a book that is Murakami's 1Q84).

Imagine that the world actually functioned like this? Or there were cities like this out there that we haven't found? I know it would defy all logic of biology and everything we know about aging, but it's fun to imagine, no?

“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”

? Woody Allen